i might be a body peircer?

hopefully

its one of my goals on 43 things.
so im gonna do it.


100. hugs
99. laughing
98. writing
97. my dad yelling at the tv
96. text messages
95. tipsy times
94. gladstone street
93. happy people
92. peaceful bus rides
91. beauty of nature
90. movie quotes in regular day situations
89. bands that actually come to perth to play live shows
88. taking photos of bands
87. when i get paid
86. drawing
85. reading
84. marijuarna
83. strange fashion
82. voodoo
81. horoscopes
80. stars
79. the beach
78. hair
77. helium
76. lyrics
75. singing
74. kisses
73. winter
72. spring
71. lists
70. myspace...sometimes
69. haha 69...not really on my list...must try it sometime i guess..
68. dixie
67. taylor
66. mackenzie!
65. cruising
64. the city
63. shopping
62. perth bands
61. non judgemental people
60. CSI
59. prison break
58. numbers
57. painting
56. isaacs voice
55. coffee
54. mocha
53. milk!
52. chris
51. 78 records
50. eddie
49. gloria jeans
48. a decade today
47. hardcore pits..fun to watch
46. SECRET LIVES OF THE FREE MASONS
45. what i know of love
44. when i was 14
43. alone time
42. internet
41. holidays
40. rollercoaster
39. peircings
38. tattoos
37. The Smiths
36. Morrissey
35. rain
34. sun
33. damian
32. dancing
31. blogging
30. fraser
29. the art gallery
28. the library
27. hq
26. the backyard
25. perth
24. socialising
23. my mobile games
22. steve
21. not knowing
20. memories
19. karin
18. amy
17. dad
16. mum
15. flea
14. mandy
13. wayne
12. shane
11. lisa
10. lauren
09. cam
08. cameron
07. josh
06. niki
05. danielle
04. matt
03. cinny
02. jade
01. jenna



there is probably alot more people but to put them in order is hard
there is probably many more things too...
but its hard to list things

i know sleep is one i missed

i have to share a room with someone else...
i have to get used to this all over again..


i think ive lost motivation to do anything remotely creative...

i want talent
i want skills

i want more

but thats just being greedy isnt it..

hallo how are you today jacky?!?!

much love =] hehhe




an example of my privacy and the respect people have for me...
i left the computer for 20 minutes

I drew something! A WA band called Four Disorder wrote the line "it's fucking coco-culture" and it was about the coolest thing i'd heard in ages. So I began to draw. I'm happy with what came out. I could have done more but oh well. I would post it on here if i had a freeken scanner. But I dont..poo

Needing or wanting a job is hard to define.
I like all this spare time. But I feel I should be using it to be creative. But I have no inspiration being cooped up in this house. I wanna write! I wanna draw! I wanna do something!
But all I do is read. I can only read of stories more interesting than my life.
I feel I need a job to inspire me. To get me out of the house. To meet new people.
To be something alot more than I am now.

But it's just not happening. I thought I'd be an ideal candidate for the positions I applied for. But no. I've had a trial and failed to succeed. I've handed out resume's at places where brains aren't really needed and where they are needed. But still. No response.

Need a job for money, want a job for life.

I went to a party last night and alot of the kids were younger than me, but off their face and dirty dancing and just so at peace with sex. It didn't scare them or anything. My friend whos birthday it was, was kissing every body. I thought i walked in on an orgy. It was like one of those sex clubs but everyone knew everyone else. Except for me and my 2 sober friends. We were just gob smacked. We didn't fit in at all. But they greeted us as nicely as possible. Since they were drunk they won't remember us. I'm glad I decided I won't go out again. That party was open about sexual orientation. I was just scared.

I lay in bed for 45 minutes before getting up to stop a skipping cd. I lay there for a few more minutes listening to the last 2 people slowly making their way about the house. Then decide to get up seeing as this sleeping business is going nowhere. My brother is still awake and doing something on his computer. He is usually nose deep in some game where he flies a plane. The other person who was awake has now made their way to bed so I made my way to the computer after making a coffee. I'm now in deep conversation with a drunken friend. He always makes for good late night conversations. Our conversations always make me think about myself and my actions. Makes me wonder if he will ever follow through with his words. He talks of how we will do things together. But we are both from different worlds. He has his life, and i have mine. Well, whatever excuse this is for a life. I'm only seventeen, but i've been out of school for almost two years. In those two years i've, done an 8 week music course, got myself into a music team which put on one gig, worked at the same fast food job until finally getting a new job and leaving my music team. This new job made openings for me. I feel in the seven months i was living out of home and supporting myself i changed. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I got more responsibilities that i ever imagined i would have at seventeen. I was faced with more emotional problems and people than i ever imagined were in the world. I felt since i was young i could act childish through it all. But it's safe to say I think I grew up.
But now this young grown up girl is living at home with her parents. Sharing a room with her younger sister. Unemployed and facing the future with no plan. I didn't really have any idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up. But now that I am, so to say "grown up", I probably should have thought of something by now. How long do I have to decide before it's too late?